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Wednesday, May 17th, 2006

Subject:All dogs to go heaven.
Time:3:58 am.
I have so much going through my head right now. It's summer vacation and I'm still stressed. When to transfer and if I even get in.

Exactly a week after I come home from school my mom wakes me up by saying "you might wanna spend some time with your dog today". After taking him to the vet because all he'd done for 2 days was shake and sleep and vomit once or twice we found out Rags was in kidney failure and was dying. As the vet put it "toxins that he couldn't filter out were building up in his system and slowly killing him like poison". They did tests to see how advanced this was and his levels were off the charts. He was anemic and losing weight. But somehow my dog could still walk and jump and wag his tail when he wanted to. Which is what made it so hard. The vet suggested putting him to sleep that day. We talked about it as a family and decided if we would do it that day (saturday) or try to get a few more days out of it. We came to the conclusion that we didn't want the dog to suffer more and it would only be harder on us to wait longer. So the family hopped in the car and took my dog to the vet.

I've never seen my family all cry together. I've never seen my dad cry at all untill then. Luckily we've been blessed enough to not have anyone extremely close to us pass away yet. The 4 of us packed into the vets office and continued to cry. Worst feeling ever. My dad and brother couldn't bear to be with Rags when he was given the injections. Mom and I were with him, we couldn't let that happen to him without being surrounded by family.

The vet said it would be quick but we didn't know it would be that quick. Something was put into his arm to make sure his veins wouldn't burst because he was so anemic. It takes two shots...one to put him to sleep and then one to stop his heart. The vet said he'd quickly fall asleep. Well as she was giving him the first injection I'll never remember the horror of Rags just falling. Mom and I were petting him the entire time and he was given the second shot. After a minute the vet checked his heart and said "he's gone" and apologized and left the room. His eyes were open. I'll never forgot the sound of my moms cries as she hugged his lifeless body. She told him what a good boy he was and how much we loved him. I couldn't form words, I opened my mouth and nothing comprehendible came out.

By far the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Decide what to do with my first and only real pet. And see my dad go through it. Rags was my dads dog. I would always joke to my dad about how the dog was his only friend.

My dad never wanted a dog. Since I could talk I begged my parents for a puppy and finally when i was 5 I got one. We got him either the day of, before or after valetines day and have old school video footage of us with Rags the day we got him. I have so many great memories, his many nicknames: killer, cornmuffin, scragginmuffin, corey always saying how he chased him down the street, he was a huge part of our neighborhood!

That night I had to go to a family party to get stuff ready for Amy's wedding. I drank one glass of wine. You know I feel fucked up when I only have 1 glass of wine at a family party. I felt bad here we are planning a wedding and I just sat there staring into space trying not to cry. I hope they understood. At least the sabres advanced to the next round that night.

Mom and I came home early, around 1 oclock both stone cold sober. I cried myself to sleep and found out my parents did too. My dog used to sleep with my dad right by his feet. My mom put his collar up on the bedpost. I never would have thought losing Rags would have impacted me and my family this much. Maybe because it was so quick and unexpected. Or cuz he was the first and only. But it's been 3 days now and I still can't think about him without crying. I'm already looking up new puppies just to get my mind off things but its too soon for everyone to get a new dog. Mom told me Rags waited for me to get home to see him before he had to go. I hope he knows that no dog could ever replace him and I hope that like my aunt says he "can go play with snoopy and cookie".

RIP Raggamuffin Rex Bertini
November 28, 1992 - May 13, 2006
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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Subject:Life
Time:4:24 pm.
Mood: weird.
So with tomorrow as the last day of class, I have alot to say. I was just reading all my previous entries to confirm my feelings from the begining of the year. I was right. I'm absolutely miserable here. I've been since like October. College is supposed to be about making friends, growing as a person, being independent, more freedom, and opening your mind. But this is what I've gotten...

Well making friends. Things started off great. The first few weeks of school were alot of fun. Then I lost touch with those guys and for a couple weeks really didn't have anyone to hang out with and shit. My roomate moved out so I was mad lonely (but happy she was gone). So I started going next door to Liza who introduced me to JV and Sydney. Well I've never met anyone like this girl in my life. Making friends is a process that I really don't like. When you first meet someone you dont know what they will be like that is the chance you take when you try to make friends. If I would have known what this girl is like I would never have become friends with her. JV and Sydney were better than her esp JV but now that I don't talk to Sydney it really doesn't matter anyway. I also babysat these girls whenever, wherever we went out and many times have been embarresed to be seen with Liza. It's bad when even other people notice this. Thanks Tom for that comment in the waffle bar line "youre the only responsible one kati". So why back home am I the one that usually needs taking care of? I wish I knew. I think cuz I'm with the people I consider my real friends I subconsciously forget to watch myself or something. However at the same time I have also taken care of people and don't mind doing it at all. But back to the dorm, pretty much everyone is a nut case, has some kind of complex and I say this without exaggeration. From bulimia (no lie) to getting coach bags on valentines day these girls are the epitome of what I hate. I've never been more fake in my life. Meaning I have to put on a fake act just to be civil with some of these girls cuz on the inside I just want to scream at them and tell them how idiotic they are 24/7. ok so bad luck with the dorming situation this year.

I should have tried harder to make other friends I've definetly learned that this year. I'll never consider anyone here a good friend. Except my rooomate probably. Cuz she understands me and feels the same way I do about alot of things. Thank god for my roomate. Honestly when she moved in I was so skeptical, she was kinda bitchy asking me to move in with another girl so she could be with her friend but in the long run I couldn't be more thankful for Brittany. She keeps me sane.

The whole freedom, indepence issue. This kinda boils down to I don't have a car. I come and go as I please back home with no curfew and plenty of places to go. Here I stare at the same 4 walls constantly, or on the weekends take a cab down to some shitty party that gets broken up within that hour anyway and I'm back in my hole in the ground dorm by 1 anyway. Now maybe this is me trying to hold onto high school saying the parties are shitty. Shitty cuz I don't know anyone and no one really talks to us when we go. I need to stop looking for the games of spin the bottle haha. I think the parties suck cuz even when they aren't broken up everyone is gone by 1ish and cuz I don't have many friends at them. I can honestly say 75 percent of the nights here I come home and say "wow what was the point of that". I've had a few good weekends, going to Castaways, the crew party (due to ashley and lindsay being up and playing flip cup for two hours with mark and aj) this past weekend owning Beta Theta Pi. And if it wasn't for spending around 300 dollars on nothing but alcohol this year my year would have been unbearable.

I really think I've met every terrible person here at IC. There has to be some "normal" people out there, I just have yet to find them. From the boys parading around decked out in fucking banana republic, abercrombie and then saying 'oh i just woke up and threw these on i look like shit' shut the fuck up you know you spent an hour putting that outfit together and then another 45 minutes looking in the mirror before you walked outta youre dorm. I've never been opposed to gay guys and never will be but please you make me sick when you can't be seen without at least 4 layers of designer clothes on. And the issue here isn't homosexuality it's the whole "omg i need to look good thing" but I'm having trouble seperating it which i dont like. My mind isn't as open as it used to be. not good.

Pretty much I've never quit anything in my life. Dancing I retired from and I hate myself because of that. I can't escape how it was my life. You know how bad I just wanna do some backbend shit but am afraid to because Ive already lost some of it and can't come to terms with that? I realllly hope Mr Jody does do the alumni dance. It would make me feel alot better. Going on with the whole never giving up thing I tell people that I want to transfer and they say "don't give up" or in Liza's terms "suck it up, grow up get over high school". I understand freshman year is the toughest year so thats why I'm giving it another chance by coming back next semester. I feel like I've already been tough by not transfering this summer.

When I show Brittany pictures and she goes "man where did that glow in you go, I can see why you are unhappy here" it just makes me feel better. I don't take care of myself here/care about my appearance. Which I dont like but I also say whats the point. I look at myself in the mirror and for the first time in almost 19 years I don't like what I see. My face is so chubby and blah looking. I constantly feel blah therefore I look blah.

So maybe I'm being completely over the top emotional but I just needed to get out these feelings that have been building up since October. I have so much to look forward to this summer. Being in two weddings. My cousin and Kristine who is pretty much a cousin/older sister. Both of which I wouldn't have dreamed of being involved in and couldn't be more honored to be apart of. My family means more to me now than it ever has. With my Uncle and Grandpa not in the best health I think it's finally brought us closer together. Growing up makes the age difference between my cousins and I smaller so hopefully I can be friends with them rather than just their cousin.

And to all my friends back home, I don't wanna think about what I would do without you guys. I'd probably be with the Cornell kids laying at the bottom of a gorge. It's weird how everyone says "you'll never talk to your high school friends after you graduate". Well in my situation I've gained high school friends and gotten closer to those I already had. Obviously there are exceptions somehow I don't talk to Jessy, and Lindsay as much but I still consider them amazing friends because when I do talk to them absolutely nothing has changed. This summer I need to see them more. Brooke, Rachel, Alicia and Julia who were my good friends for awhile I've lost touch with but it's the same with them. When I occasionally see them they haven't changed. As for the friends I've gained...Dave and Corey who have always been good friends Corey since I was 5 and Dave since like freshman year I lost touch with towards the end of high school but ever since I've been away we talk alot again and I couldn't be happier. And as for Christine, Ashley, Matt and Kaiser what can I even say. I don't have words to describe how thankful I am theyre in my life.

This upcoming week no lie will be one of the most miserable weeks of my life. Finals and just getting the hell out. I'm not gunna lie I'll miss a few things. My roomate. Aj. Mark. The salad bar. Tom's jokes in class. Aj and Mark, yeah we've hung out and had some funny times but I know that when they think of Ithaca they wouldn't think of me. Can't think of much else. Actually having alcohol delivered right to my door by Ciampa and Aj I'll miss. Ya thats about it. Maybe it's my fault maybe I didnt let other people in. oh well, there's always next year.

Last summer was the best time in my life. I worked almost 30 hours a week but I loved my job. And there were always my partners in crime who would go into work on a few hours sleep after a night of partying to do it with me. We'll all be really busy this summer. Trying to support ourselves working and what not. But we can't let work get in the way of whats really important aka lets just fucking party this summer away like no other. We deserve it and personally I fucking need it.

now that i got all of that off my chest...Lets Go Buffalo!
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Monday, March 6th, 2006

Time:12:07 am.
Wow so it's been a while since I updated this. Things are pretty much the same. Still not that happy at Ithaca. It has gotten better the whole social life thing but. I go to school with kids that come from extremely wealthy families and I can't take it. Their parents tell them not to work, give them however much money they need for whatever they want and it just makes me sick. The whole point of college is you are supposed to be poor and find out what is it like in the real world. These kids are so sheltered they'll never be in the real world. Ugh. I can't standddd it. By the middle of next year I will probably transfer. Cuz my grades aren't good enoug to get into the AT program anyway and I'm not gunna waste my time and money if I can't get into the program so. Anyway

This weekend I visited Andy at Kent with matt and alex. It was alot of fun minus me drinking myself into inebriation and falling down some stairs. I woke up thank god with kaiser next to me but feeling like I had gotten hit with a sledge hammer. My eye is all black and blue and swollen and stuff. Good times. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him ALWAYS beeing there for me.

I think it's funny how everyone is like "you won't talk to your friends after high school" well I made it through 3/4 of my first year and I feel closer to my good friends than I ever have. matt, Ashley, christine, kaiser and anth ...i really feel like we can be friends till we are like married. and i hope till longer than that. i love you guys.
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Monday, December 5th, 2005

Time:2:11 pm.
Mood: lonely.
I don't know if this is just because I'm really missing my friends lately or what but I'm not really happy at Ithaca right now. Maybe because I don't have alot of friends here too but. I've been extremely annoyed lately. Honestly Liza annoys the shit outta me about everything. So many people here are so concerned about their looks, and what designer they wear and all this bullshit it makes me sick. My friends fucking spend their parents money to get a cab and go tanning. It's unbelievable. I'm the only person in Ithaca (besides Brian lol) that like doesn't come from a wealthy family. Ithaca is like the exact opposite of West and I liked West alot better. I really blame alot of my unhappiness on my dorm situation but I'm not gunna move. No doubt it's a good school but I dunno if I can be stuck in this tiny town or whatever it is for 4 years. I feel like I belong in Buffalo. I wish I could see more than the 4 walls of my dorm room.
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Sunday, November 27th, 2005

Time:1:09 am.
It's really weird. Some days I'm fine and then other days I still can't get over it. Or him. I just can't believe he would do that. And god knows what I still feel about the whole thing. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about. But on the other hand...

my thanksgiving break was absolutely amazing. aside from being annoyed that I had to drive so much I had such a good time and saw everyone. Oh yeah and besides Kaiser and Shaina off course but whatevs I'm sure that won't last long. I wanna visit him really bad! Seeing my cousin at a bar was great. Thanksgiving was wonderful. Krista had two parties that were fun.

It's so weird I ask people here how their break went and they go "it was ok". I'm just like wow that sucks because mine was amazing. Alot of people are happy to be back in school I'm just like are you kidding me?
These next two weeks the only thing to look forward to is studying so i can get outta here and back to my loves in buffalo.
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Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Time:2:25 am.
School has been going ok. Anatomy sucks and I'm never going to be able to declare a major. I love my new roomate. We get along pretty well and she actually goes out and has a life and stuff. There was soo much floor drama tonight it was hysterical. it started off with the boys calling liza a bitch and they were just way out of line. Then Liz and Eliza start bitching at each other and that was a great time so we went to visit Gonzalo who of course could care less about the situation. We're gunna try and throw him a party at Lar's house before he graduates.

Everything here is getting a little better. I consider a few more people my friends now and I'm not as lonely as I was before. Minus the whole guy thing still but anyway.That will take a while unless I start hanging out with Bryan via Jess and Annette but I dunno if I see that happening too often. I guess this place is finally home and a familar face is not just someone back home.

This weekend should be fucking insane. cortACA jug! It sucks so badly that I can't go to the game drunk like everyone else. Honestly the only sober people there are the cheerleaders, coaches and football players. But I hope to be drunk the entire rest of the weekend. For this weekend me, Liza, Katie and I dunno if Sydney is drinking or not but we are getting 2 handles, a 24 pack of bitch drinks and Isaac and Asaf sold us a bottle of hyponiq. And we have like 10 beers left. I think we're set. Honestly the only thing I buy in college is alcohol. Good thing I work cuz I'd be broke as hell.

I made my schedule for next semester. I'm taking A&P 2, Bio 2, Prevention and Care of Athletic Injuries, Basic Statistical Reasoning and Academic Writing. My classes start at 10 on MFW and 9:25 on TR which kinda sucks but it gets them outta the way.

In 10 days I'll be home and in 14 days he'll be home.
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Sunday, October 30th, 2005

Time:12:49 am.
So I pretty much forgot live journal existed. But there's nothing really to write about anyway. Things are the same and I think they'll stay this way. The Bogart boys are useless (minus tom, byard, zack and sometimes dave) and so I still haven't found what I want/need. Being here really makes me appreciate my friends back home. Me and Corey are really tight again and I love him. But yeah I really can't stand the other boys anymore, I do not need them in the least.

I haven't talked to him in a really long time and we just had a normal conversation. But I miss the 2 hour drunk dials. I'm terrified he will fuck up and we won't see each other over thanksgiving. Which is in like 18 days for me. I dont know what I'd do.

I finally got a new roomate on friday. She bitched about the whole situation but she's starting to grow on me. She's from antigua. (the caribbean). Haven't found out too much about her yet, she's out alot which is good

Yesterday me, Liza, Chile and Katie threw Dave a party. It was so much fun, we got all dressed up and wasted. I was so wasted I passed out before DPDOUGH got here again and i'm Pissed! But it's really fucking sweet because we fronted money for the alcohol. And since most people in boghetto don't drink or don't drink alot we fucking lost maybe a couple bucks each but gained a handle and 5 beers each. Pretty damn sweet.
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Saturday, October 8th, 2005

Time:2:11 am.
Mood: grumpy.
Things here are just kinda weird right now. I'm having fun but when I stop and think about things it just seems off. I haven't talked to Brad in a week. I had a dream about him and I called him but his suitemate answered saying he has no clue where he is. Maybe I'll be pathetic and try again. I know I'll be pathetic and try again.

So this weekend was homecoming. College homecoming (at least here) is pretty shitty. Our peprally/bonfire turned out to be about 30 people in the gym and no bonfire thanks to the torential downpours. Maybe it's the weather that made it suck but. Last night was fun though got messed up in Dave's room and just ran around bogart as usual. Barely anyone here can party like my real friends can. No one actually. I can't wait to go home. I have sooo much work to do tomorrow it's ridiculous. I can't wait to go back to where my friends are and not be afraid to be judged by people and know that they are really your friends. I get ridiculed here for being who i am. Basically because the guys here are so different. I wouldn't give two shits about what they thought about me except for the fact that wait, they are the closest things to friends I have here. I'm afraid I've been forgetting about my AT friends who are much more closer to my friends back home. I wanted to hang out with them tonight but that didn't happen.

Me and Cornell boy hung out Wednesday night. Sober hook up? I don't know what that means. It's too early to tell anyway and I sure as hell know not to get my hopes up. But it would be wonderful if something did happen cuz I'm dying for a normal boy. Funny he's in Buffalo this weekend visiting friends. We'll see if he calls when he's back at IC.
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Monday, September 12th, 2005

Subject:I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you loving me
Time:12:20 am.
Mood: happy.
I am so happy for last night. I don't really know where this puts us. Talking for 2 hours last night wasn't enough. How am I gunna make it to thanksgiving. So many questions. I got something off my chest that I've been carrying since I was like 8, 9 years old. Sounds ridiculous but its true. Well I guess maybe since I was like 13 for real but. I can't believe it actually happened. I need the next conversation of course for that reassurance but he still has yet to break a single promise. A year ago this time we weren't talking. He still is holding back the slightest bit or maybe he honestly doesn't know. But I know him well enough to know the answer anyway. Why else? Ive always had confidence in this. This is the best feeling in the world.
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Friday, September 9th, 2005

Time:3:18 pm.
I was sooo excited to come home this weekend untill I found out that cheerleading bonding is tonight. I don't wanna miss this cuz the girls are really nice and if I do I will probably be like an outsider the entire year so. It'll prolly be crazy tonight. But I really wanted to go home. Around here it seems like everyone is feeling the same. We're all like worn down. Maybe people are getting homesick and 2 of my friends are like sick sick. Matt's going to his girlfriends, Jess's boyfriend is coming up, Seth is going home, Heidi might. Blah. So last night we decided to drink. Baaad idea haha. What's up shots and beer. I passed out in Annette and Jess's room, woke up at 6:30 and headed back to my dorm...nice 15 minute walk still drunk. And guess what? my keys fell outta my bag and were back up in terraces. sweet. I'm officially the roomate from hell I had to wake renee up to let me in. I went to lunch with Seth today and found out that I am the only one that didnt puke...out of the 4 of us that were there the entire time. We're all hungover and it sucks lol. Aparently once I passed out they were still up for like 2 hours and Annette kept falling off her bed right onto me. Maybe thats why my back hurts haha. Well I need a nap.
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005

Time:1:28 am.
and on top of all that why do I suddenly have the urge to do something i've been afraid to do since i was about 13 years old. i'm sick of putting on the act, i don't want the regret again. maybe since we're far away it's easier? but it's not like he was that much closer back home so to speak. all this thinking is giving me a headache but i can't sleep cuz my mind is racing.
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Time:12:22 am.
Mood: lonely.
So basically I still have no friends here. It's so hard. Everyone has made so many friends easily it seems like and then there is me. I feel like I'm annoying the friends that I do have cuz I'm like strangling them. I can't find people who are like my friends back home yet. 3 weeks has gone by it's not gunna get easier, it's only gunna get harder. I'm worried that I'm gunna be like this all year. Really the only time I have fun is when I'm getting drunk. Every other time I laugh or talk to people it feels fake.
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Sunday, September 4th, 2005

Time:11:46 pm.
Cheerleading thursday went pretty well. Did enough jumps, my legs are gunna double in size. We started mounting and I like my mount group. Friday work study was ridiculous we only have enough work to take up an hour and a 1/2 going extremely slow. So cool I prolly made like 5-6 bucks for the week. That night me, Seth, Michelle, Nadine, Jess and Mike went up to circles. Alot of people went home this weekend. Got messed up, up there and then somehow made it back to bogart where I found myself watching road trip in tom's room. I'll never forget one of the first thing I remember about Matt when they were playing RoadTrip in the quads he goes "it takes place....oooh yeah" lol. So yeah I watched Road trip and fell asleep for like the last 20 minutes but luckily woke up right when it ended.
Last night was fucking fun as hell. Went to Ben and Matt's room where we pregammed. I am the worst beer pong player ever. My record this weekend was 0 and 4. Compared to the boys who are 34 and 11. Which is alot of pong for being here just 3 weeks. At like 11 or 12 we decided to walk to the circles for some odd reason. Went through the Forbidden Forrest and it's so much fun when youre drunk. Wandered around the circles for a few minutes while Ben made some friends as always. Came back through the forrest and ended up back in crazy lyon. I took my camera but it's so cheap and shitty all my pics are blurry so when i go home I wanna buy a new one. Drank some more. and by 3 i think we were all ready to pass out. I almost fell asleep on Ben's bed but somehow once again I came back to the right dorm. Don't remember how but then me and Brian ended up hanging out in the lounge untill like 5.

Today sucked. Woke up felt not so good. Went to open lab for an hour and a 1/2 where I broke the phalanges lol. And right now i'm all dressed and ready but with nothing to do. Don't have enough friends here yet. Seth didn't feel like going up to circles and I didn't wanna rely on ben and matt again so. Here I am even my loser roomate is out. Today's the first "weekend day" i've been here and haven't drank. Kinda depressing but 6 beers a night isn't going to do much for my liver or figure so lol. Arley had a c section today.
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Time:10:49 pm.
have you......this summer of 2005?

spent the night with someone? yes yes

drank untill ur stomach hurt? are you kidding me? ashley and i drank that liter of vodka no problem

vacation? nope

tanned? nope

went to a camp? no

swam? yes

went to the movies? to see charlie

gone shopping? off course

Had a job? yes i miss mighty

gotten freakishly bored? yes

have you gotten sun burned yet? nope

made a bonfire? no

been outside during a lightning storm? i don't think so unless my florida room counts

Been to another state? no

been to another country? yeah canook land

changed someting about your appearance? cut and high lighted my hair

been to the the hospital with an injury? haha actually...no

commited a crime/broken the law? did that alot

gone on a road trip? ummm no

had a g/f or b/f? it's me come on

dumped a g/f or b/f? no

been to a concert? nope

Been in trouble with the cops/parents? yes both. whats up drinking at the DMV, krista's house

had a memorable moment? i had many, some i can remember and some i can't. july 27th.

had a horrible moment? whats up drinking at the dmv, being sick before my grad party

ran from the law? um once again DMV

lied to your parents? yes

gotton so drunk you forgot what happened? yup

smoked weed? i tried to

snuck out? i don't think so

made new friends? rich and mike

lost old friends? yea kinda

missed a friend? always

gone on vacation with no parents? no

Slept under the stars? yes i love sleeping on andy's trampoline

thought about school? um yea

been to the beach? i was too busy to go to the beach

thought about a special someone? mmhmm

hoped they thought about you too? yes

found someone trying to get with someone else? since most of my friends are horny geek boys off course

made a promise you couldn't keep? no

lied in order to keep out of serious trouble? yeah
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Tuesday, August 30th, 2005

Time:12:32 am.
School is slowly starting to become more fun. The other day I was eating lunch with Tom at Campus Center and they were blasting Whitney Houston "I Will ALways Love You" and it was soo funny we couldn't eat we were laughing so hard. So many guys here at IC are still with their girlfriends. Everyones away message says like "love u miss u baby" and it kinda makes me depressed cuz I don't have to do that. 2 of my friends here are still with their girlfriends, which frankly sucks.

specialk0744: i got everything accomplished that i thought id have on the first day of classes
ThatsAmore725: like?
specialk0744: fell asleep in class, parking ticket and got busted for drinking
ThatsAmore725: niiiice
specialk0744: ur profile is awesome

SmartAsh115: kati!
SmartAsh115: ur in college have fun
ThatsAmore725: lol i thought u were actually gunna yell at me
SmartAsh115: ha ha
SmartAsh115: me??
ThatsAmore725: yeah i know right haha
SmartAsh115: u and the wrestlers

Basically I really want to quit work study. Which leaves me with nothing but the money on my ID express and cash from working over the summer. The only thing I need cash for is alcohol and cabs. I've been here two weeks, one weekend I spent 4 bucks on alcohol and this week I spent about 7 or 8 on a cab. Doesn't seem like alot but multiply it by however many weeks I'm here. But however much money I'd be making a week is probably not worth the 3 hours of being in a disgusting kitchen with gross old women. I'd much rather go home and work at Mighty for the month between semesters. There is this kid in my dorm that is from Buffalo and we crave Mighty together.

Renee and I had to make our roomate agreement thing. That was interesting. I really don't know how I'm going to live with her for this entire year. She's so paranoid about life, boys, school EVERYTHING. Lemme just say that the other night she asked if we could close the door cuz she didn't want any guys to see in. I can't wait untill I'm drunk one night and bring some friends back. oh shit haha. Maybe I'll stumble in enough nights she'll want to move out. I hope.

Cheerleading practice tomorrow!
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Sunday, August 28th, 2005

Time:2:18 pm.
BusDriverBob248: thats us the BLO boys!!!

I love the weekends here. The other night I went to a party in the towers and last night we pregammed in Ben and Matts room curtousy of Ben. Played a funny ass game of kings. Derrogatory names only and say bitch after everything. Alcohol edu haha. Then we went to a Cornell frat party. College is sweet cuz usually you can find a place to drink for free. Except then you make up for it cuz you have to pay for a cab. Ben and Matt represented IC 09 at Cornell lol. I made cheerleading! I'm really excited about that, hopefully that will lead to more friends and parties. Time to maybe do a little work?
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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

Subject:Ithaca
Time:1:04 am.
Mood: happy.
So I finally found a group of kids who remind me of my friends back home. I met these 2 guys thru Seth who are roomates and they are sooo much fun. Ben who's from Chicago reminds me of Brad sooo much. Matt is really awesome too and from LI. There's those guys and I've been hanging out with 3 girls that have partied together with us. It's a great group I really hope we stick together alot. I think we will most of us are in HSHP same major so. Last night we went up to the circles to party and Ben and Matt were ruling the beer pong table and everyone's like "whoa who are these freshman?" so it's really cool. They are super sweet guys too like they walked me to my dorm and shit. I really hope we get close. Last night while I was walking home ( about a 35 minute walk) the boys called me from camping and even though I was tdrunk I don't think I've ever been happier to hear from anyone. I talked to them for a while, like all of them. I miss my boys! Andy R has called me twice since I was here and it's awesome. I would not trade my guy friends for ANYTHING. They can never be replaced but I hope Ben and Matt are gunna be my IC boys.

Then tonight I hung out with Matt while Ben and Seth were at soccer tryouts and I really hope they make it. Road trip was playing on a huge screen in the middle of the quads but I decided to stay in. Tonight we trucked up to the circles again to Steph's apartment and we were there for maybe an hour and a 1/2 when she got a call that campus security was on their way because there were sooooo many people packed into the party. When we got back to our dorms we went into Matt and Ben's lounge to watch a movie.

I had to say goodbye to my parents today and had it not been for my mom crying I think I would have done ok. I feel so bad leaving them but it's not like it's just hard on them, it's life. I still have yet to hang out with anyone from my dorm. Tomorrow is our last do nothing day and then classes start. Oh man.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:i love my friends.
Time:1:01 am.
ImSadButImLaffin: Umm kaitlyn, your parents are not paying for you to go to college so you can party.
ImSadButImLaffin: I am very disappointed in you
ImSadButImLaffin: You should be studying
ImSadButImLaffin: :-)
ImSadButImLaffin: i love you
ImSadButImLaffin: bye

BusDriverBob248: o the circle i know right where that is

Auto response from ThatsAmore725: up at the circles partying, call me

BusDriverBob248: hope u have a great time!!!
BusDriverBob248 is away at 12:14:50 AM.

skylark2387: hey
skylark2387: is it gettin better?

ThatsAmore725: hey whats up?
ThatsAmore725: thanks for my phone call lol
bacdafucup549: nothin r u happy i called u yesterday?
ThatsAmore725: yes i was so happy it made my day
bacdafucup549: i felt bad cuz i hada a horrible goodbye n it was botherin me all day
bacdafucup549: n im startin to realize how much im gonna miss my friends
ThatsAmore725: ya it was a horrible goodbye
ThatsAmore725: yeah
ThatsAmore725: but we gotta have this convo some other time cuz i'm about to meet my friends and go party
bacdafucup549: lol k have fun and b careful
ThatsAmore725: thank you i will be
ThatsAmore725: i was a little tanked when u called if you couldn't tell lol
bacdafucup549: yup...
ThatsAmore725: bye bye i miss you
bacdafucup549: i miss u 2
bacdafucup549: b strong friend lol
ThatsAmore725: <3
bacdafucup549 is away at 9:26:19 PM.

bedardige1217: mighty misses kati!!!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 21st, 2005

Time:12:17 am.
Mood: lonely.
Yesterday was an awesome day. I woke up and Lindsay, Krista and I went to IHOP for a goodbye breakfast. It was so sad saying goodbye. I then went to the mall with my abdale and then dinner with my grandparents. After dinner I went to Matt's where me, him and Andy went to the Erie County fair and had so much fun. We got so much free shit, some lady handed us like 60 ride tickets. After the fair we went back to Matts house and chilled. At like 2:30 me and Kaiser left to go to Jim's with Christine. Then I had to say goodbye to them and it's the weirdest thing saying to your best friends "i'll see you in a couple months" or whatever. It was strange I figured I'd bawl saying bye to kaiser and matt but I didn't. I think cuz the guys are strong it like makes me strong. I love Andy he may be an ass about partying but walking through the fair he's like "i'm gunna miss your random outbursts" and other stuff. And he told me what I wanted to know for a while and he found out something. People were calling him and he's like "no i'm gunna stay with kati tonight" <3. Ok anyway. So my last few moments in Buffalo were spend with my Abdale at Jims. Then I went home and packed untill like 6 in the morning and now i'm here in ithaca not really having any fun.

I'm like 1/2 unpacked. Met a few girls but no one i can really see myself getting to be good friends with. Who knows though obviously it's still early to tell. There are no decent guys in my entire dorm. Maybe 1. I hate to say it but I am like homesick already and I've never been homesick before in my life. I'm sure this uncomfortableness is normal. Once I get into a routine everything should be fine. I'm so tired but I am too hot to sleep.

Someone keeps iming me and it's strange cuz he hasn't been like this in a while. I wonder what will happen on breaks. I just want to tell him everythingggg. I miss him so much right now.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, August 20th, 2005

Time:3:12 am.
SHORTYsokrplya14: ps, you don

Auto response from ThatsAmore725: last night with the boys... i move tomorrow!

SHORTYsokrplya14: sorry.
SHORTYsokrplya14: I am lindsay , I just wanted to say don't forget to get Livejournal sometimes so that I can keep up wih your live @ Ithaca!! my name is Allmyonlidreams so be my friend! Also... I LOVE YOU AND AM GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!
SHORTYsokrplya14: bye :'(

lizyray87: hey when r u coming tm call me and leave me a message 3019918173 if not see ya then
ReMeMberTheNaMe0: good luck at college kati and keep in touch...im gonna miss ya lots
ReMeMberTheNaMe0: i was just listening to the graduation song lol
ReMeMberTheNaMe0: :(


soccerCAT4evr: katie, hey its cat. be my friend even tho u leave for college tomorrow. tell aunge i say hi when u see her there!! goodluck!
Comments: Add Your Own.

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